Thank you all for you wonderful kind comments!!! It's so nice to know that no matter what is going on you guys will be there to listen and read.
I know we will work it out. It's just a matter of timing. I want things to be OK now and as usual - T & I have completely different internal time schedules. He works through things at a completely different rate than I do. Sometimes I really loose sight of that. I get tired and frustrated and ready to give up - but then some how we manage to have a really good day or week or month...
So far the counseling thing hasn't worked out for us. We'ver tried it a couple of times - but again - we are such different people we respond to counselors very differently too. So for now - I'm trying to give him his space to work out what he needs to and hoping that we can keep on going until things manage to work out for us again.
We've called a truce for now. Maybe once we both have some time to think about things we will be able to talk about the situation with out getting defensive.
He's a wonderful person and a fabulous dad. I knew I wanted to build a family with him from the beginning.
So for now we are limping along - both of us hoping for the best.