Saturday, July 19, 2008

Truett took pictures of my quilt square today. It turned out much better than I thought it would. It makes me happy to know that she will be aknowledged as a living child who existed on this earth for a short time every time some one looks at the quilt.

Where do I begin?

It's been almost 6 months since my daughter died. Wow - that's hard to say. All of the pain and hurt is still so fresh some days.

Driving home today I heard a Johnny Cash song. My first thought was - wow, that would have been nice to have for Ellie's funeral. Than I got really, really sad. I've been crying on and off ever since.

I want my daughter here with me right now - more than anything else in the world.

But she's not.

How in the world is a mother and a father and a sister supposed to be OK with that? I don't think I will ever be OK again. Yes, I'll get by. But that is in no way and indication that I've gotten "over" loosing my child. I'll get by and pretend I am who I used to be.