Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I need some advice...

Without going into to many details there is major stress in my life right now trying to coordinate family coming for the birth.

#1 - we have no room at our house for guests - our only guest room has now been transformed into the baby's room.

#2 - My mom is flying in a few days before and staying for a few additional days. Pretty limited time. She was really looking forward to spending some time with me and YaYa since she doesn't get to come to visit all that often. She will be sleeping on the bottom bunk in YaYa's room.

#3 - In-laws live only 2 hours away but have decided to come "stay" with us for the whole time my Mom will be here. (they are bringing an air matress so they can sleep in the living room!) I tried to nicely suggest that they come see us the day the baby is born and the day we come home from the hospital and then wait until after my Mom leaves for a long visit. But the hint wasn't taken. I also tried to suggest that they stay at a hotel - but again, hint not taken... Now "T" thinks I am trying to exclude his family.

I feel completely trapped and know that this is all going to go terribly wrong at some point. "T" is angry with me for even worrying about it - but how can I not? It happens every time my parents and his parents come at the same time. There's this big huge competition for YaYa's attention and now it will be the same with the baby too.

Should I just ignore the situation and pretend it doesn't matter?


Bluebird said...

I can't believe you're so close! And absolutely adorable photos below :)

Okay, as for the stress. I totally get it and would not be okay with it. That said, my family is only 3 hours away and I totally expect my mom to come and stay for a while.

But, again!, that many people in my house would make me crazy. And I am so not above saying these days that it is all about me :)

I'm sorry things got hairy with your husband. The only advice I can think of is to try to talk to him again about how you all are going to need space to breath, a touch of privacy, etc. It's not excluding his family - but two people on an airmattress in the middle of everything is much different than 1 person in Yaya's room! To me anyway :)

I suspect you're right that there's not going to be a perfect ending, but I would suggest trying to figure out what is going to make you happiest in that moment. Thinking of you!

Barefoot said...

Ugh -- that all just sounds so stressful. I hope that you're able to work things out so that you can find some peace with your babe. Can't believe that things are so close!!

Ruth said...

Who is having the baby? Not them. You deserve the best and the least stress. Good luck navigating the family dynamics! :)

Just Breathe said...

I am sorry about the stress. They all love you. Just let them all stay. Since I have a son I know that someday there will be a baby and his wife will always choose her mother over me. We all choose our mothers. Give the in laws a chance too. But don't stress about it. I stressed and stressed about five houseguests this summer and we had a ball. The stress was a waste of time. See, all you have to do is have the baby and worry about the baby, let them take care of everything else. You don't need to lift a finger or entertain anyone.

Michele said...

My mom and grandma just visited and we had to tell P's parents that they couldnt be here like they wanted. It wouldnt be fair to have someone travel here when they wont have the opportunity to see the babies often, and have that time shared.

I would try to tell T that it isnt exclusion. You are trying to allow everyone to have some special time. Your mom wont have all the time that his parents will. She deserves some alone time. When she is gone, then you can welcome his parents for a visit.