How do you see or imagine your baby/ies now that you do not have them with you?
I don't really imagine Ellie as anything other than the tiny infant she was when she was born. She is more of an ethereal dream child than anything real and solid.
Sometimes I daydream about what she possibly could have been had she lived - but mostly my thoughts are centered around the fuzzy memories I have of my time in the hospital. For me the most vivid and touching memory of her is before she was born when I finally got to feel her tumble and dance for the first time after the amnioinfusion.
We talk about her all the time, especially YaYa. But she seems less and less real as more time passes.
How did the loss of your last pregnancy affect your choices/decisions about the birth of your subsequent pregnancy?
I am currently 20wks into my second pregnancy. I haven't given much thought to delivery yet. I'm kind of taking things one day / one week at a time. But mostly - I don't care how this baby is born as long as he is healthy. I will most likely go with what ever my Dr says is best for the baby.