I saw this on Carly's blog.
It made me cry. I cried because for me it is true - I probably would give up five years of my life to be thin (even now after so many years...)
EDs are so destructive. They rob vibrant young women of so much happiness.
I am recovered - mostly. But there are still the nasty haunting thoughts that linger in my mind and probably always will. Like this morning when I stepped on the scale and a bigger number than I have ever seen before in my life popped up. I've been feeling bad about it all day. And then I happened to see this video and I reminded myself that I am good and I am beautiful no matter what the number is.
I'm sure some of you will judge me because I'm pregnant. Weight should be the last thing in the world I'm worried about after everything I did to get pregnant. But that's just not how real life works. This is who I am - I'm f***ed up and that all there is to it. I want this baby to be born healthy and I want to take care of myself so that I can make it happen. Sometimes I just have to work a little harder to make sure I can ignore the awful voices in my mind.