Thursday, May 14, 2009


This week our blurry little blob is measuring right on for our original due date of 12/11/09. The US machine was being difficult today so we didn't get any good pictures but heartbeat was great, placenta looked low - but the US tech said that was normal for this early in a pregnancy, and BP was AWESOME 116/68.

So why don't I feel better yet? I constatnly feel like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. T is over the moon with excitement. He was all smiles this morning after our appointment. I'm just not there yet I guess. It feel like there are just to many things that can still go wrong. Everyday I wonder if something has happened that I can't feel yet. Did I eat enough protein - did I drink enough water...

Today was a bittersweet appointment. It's kind of a long explanation - sorry... The perinatal clinic that I go to is about 1 hour away at a major teaching hospital - but they have a satellite clinic in our local hospital on Monday's and Thursday's. My MFM has set it up so that I can go for most of my appointments locally. Which is so nice of her to accomodate me like that - but it means that I have to see who ever is at the satellite clinic that day. Not a problem, for the most part. But today was hard. The MFM from my pregnancy with Ellie was there today. Don't get the wrong idea - I love her. I could not have asked for a better Dr to help me through such a horrible situation. When I was laying on the US bed and I heard who the Dr. was I just started to cry. All kinds of hard painful memories came flooding back. She came in and gave me a big hug and said how happy she was to see us again. Everything looked great today for this baby - but I was still lost in the memories of everything that wasn't right the last time. I guess I'm still trying to sort out the ghosts of pregnancies past before I can accept the present.


Lea said...

It's natural to be anxious, excited, terrified and ecstatic all at once in your situation.

I hope that things continue to go as well as today did for you and your new little one.

Michele said...

Oh sweetie, I think that's natural. I know for me, seeing the familiar things is both comforting and hard.

So glad your little one (and your BP!) are doing well!

Alice said...


Reading how well your little one is doing so far has me grinning ear to ear.

Take your time. You will find joy again.

I'm sorry today was rough ... I cannot imagine how hard it was.