Monday, April 20, 2009

Life just doesn't cooperate

Nothing ever seems to work out the way that I'd like it to. Sorry - I'm ging to use this post to whine for a few minutes. I like to have a plan - and when my plan doesn't work the way I want it to I get annoyed.

I ended up booking the work trip last week knowing full well that I wouldn't be going. But I just wasn't ready to let anyone else know (and I'm still not...) but now I have to come clean.

A very close co-worker is trying to schedule an IVF cycle. The June trip dates conflict with her potential schedule. She was going to cancel her IVF cycle because of the work trip.

I can't let her do that knowing that I have no intention of going. She and her husband have debated doing IVF for 2 years. He's finally agreed. I can't get in the way just because I'm to scared.

So deep breath, muster up the courage... I've got to tell her first (which I was also dreading... she's been in IF land as long as we have...) and then I've got to tell my boss.

All of this before I really even know for sure it's actually a viable pregnancy. I was going to wait until June to tell anyone IRL about the pregnancy. For some reason that felt like a good time to do it. It gave me time to get OK with everything and it gave me time just to feel a little better about how this pregnancy was going to go.

Some days life just isn't fair.


Michele said...

Life isnt fair. I know what you mean. Telling people "I'm pregnant" when I was barely 6w pregnant wasnt my ideal cup of tea either. It's so hard when our lives dont fall into place.

We'll just have to take it one breath at a time and hope for the best. :) Sending you positive vibes!

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

I'm sending you support and encouragement from afar.

Bluebird said...

Hope it went well. I'm sure you were a nervous wreck! Definitely not fair that it had to happen that way.