Friday, April 24, 2009


I've been having the craziest dreams lately. Really vivid dreams about my ex-husband. It's so strange. I haven't thought much about him in years but I guess lately it's been on my mind.

Things ended pretty badly between us. Mostly my fault. We haven't had any contact in at least 6 or 7 years now.

I've reconnected with a really good friend from that period in my life and I guess that has me wondering if I should try to contact him too.

I screwed up - I know I did. Not the actual divorce - just the way it came about. My Ex and I just have so much shared history. We met in 8th grade and spent most of our HS years as best friends and then went to college together too. I don't think about it often - but sometimes when I do I feel like there is a huge hole in my life because I can't share all of those memories with someone who was there, who could help me remember the details that I've already forgotten.

At the time - I just left. I left everything - pictures, mementos, anything that would remind me of him or of us. I didn't think I would ever want that stuff. But now I find myself strangely nostalgic about my 20's. Maybe it's that fact that I'm getting closer and closer to 40. Who knows.

I know I probably never will contact him again but I will always wonder.


Michele said...

I think we all have a badly ended relationship that we wonder about. I know I'd never trade my husband for anything in the world, but I do wonder whatever happened to certain people.

Bluebird said...

That kind of history is hard to compete with, and then there's the fact that some ends were left loose. . . ugh. I'm sorry for your dreams, I know they can make sleep rather unrestful.

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Oh, I just hate those dreams. They leave behind a gnawing feeling for days.
I think I'd at least want some of my pictures back from him. :)