Monday, November 17, 2008

OK - One more...

I wanted so much more for you my sweet little baby.
I wanted to change your diapers, not my life.
I wanted to nurse you, not my grief.
I wanted to dress you up, not bury you down.
I wanted to hear the sounds of you crying for me at night, not the sounds of my own crying for you, my innocent, misconceived baby.
I wanted to see you grow, not the grass upon the grave.
I wanted to see you asleep in your crib, not in the casket.
I wanted to give you life, not death.
I wanted to show you off, not go on alone.
I wanted to comb your fuzzy hair, not save a lock of it.
I wanted to pick up after you, not put down my dreams for you.
I wanted to hold you in my arms, not this doll.
I wanted to walk you late at night, not my fears.
I wanted so much for you my newly born, newly gone child.

1 comment:

Michele said...

This is so beautiful. I am crying not only for you, but for me, too.