Monday, October 13, 2008

OK - REALITY CHECK....

I went to see my therapist this afternoon... and my quest for a baby is not a good way to cope with loosing Ellie.

Yeah - I guess I already knew that.

So - take out the pain and loss part of the equation and TA-DA... Everything that DH says makes sense... It is to soon to "know" what we want to do. Yes & No on that one for me. I know I want another child - but the method for acheiving that goal. That's where I get a little hung up. Nothing has that absolute wouldn't do anything else feeling yet.

I am leaning towards adoption - just because that has the best chances of success. But none of our current adoption options feels like the right path for us. I have been doing tons and tons of reading and research on adoptions. In a perfect dream world I would like to adopt from Guatemala again. But for right now that's out of the question.

But I'm getting ahead of myself already. Darn it....

But if anyone out there has any advice I'd love to hear it. Are you adopting? Are you doing ART? How did you decide which was the right path for you?

For us the decision to adopt Amelia from Guatemala feels like a no brainer now. I know we did a lot of searching then too - but it always felt like the right thing for us. That's where I want to be with this decision.

So - I'm not giving up. I'm just taking my time. I'm not going to let my overactive brain pressure my heart into doing something that will have a permanent effect on our lives.

1 comment:

Molly said...

Hi, i just found your blog randomly. You asked about what people are doing. We're actually doing both. We started an adoption last summer, and I got pregnant last october through ART. And our dossier is almost ready to be sent out to China !!