Monday, August 2, 2010


Does it ever make you sad that your life didn’t turn out quite like you expected it to?  I just feel sad lately.  There is no real particular reason – just sad for what didn’t happen.  This is not the same as saying that I’m unhappy with what did happen – because I’m not. 


I guess all of this was triggered by something I stumbled across this morning.  It was an old abandoned blog written by someone who used to be a huge part of my life – my ex-husband.  We split up 9 years ago.  I haven’t spoken to him since then – not once.  It was my choice to leave – so I guess it is my penance to wonder how he is.  He was my best friend from 8th grade on.  We’ve both moved on to new careers, new spouses and children.  I know that there is no going back – but I would like him to know that I hope he is happy and that I’m very sorry for everything.  He was a once in a lifetime friend and didn’t deserve to be hurt by my selfishness.


I could make excuses – but really there aren’t any.  I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain.  I wanted out.  He didn’t.


I miss being able to remember that part of my life with someone who was there.





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