The real point of my post is something completely different. This weekend I stepped on the scale and saw a number that I haven't seen since Oct. 2007. Now - you may wonder how I know what I weighed almost 3 years ago. It is exactly what I weighed when we went in for our first OB visit after I found out I was pregnant with Ellie. At the time it was heavier than I had been in a while. But now - it's the least I've weighed since then.
And then it hit me. I don't measure my life in months or years - I measure it by how much I weigh at any given time. My life is measured by the ups and downs of my weight. I guess it had never really occured to me exactly how deeply my eating disordered thinking ran.
- I weighed xxx when I met T
- I weighed ### when I turned 30
- I weighed ** when I was at my sickest
- I weighed ^^^ when I came home from the hospital after Ellie died
- I weighed !! when I was 6 years old
I could make you a list that spans all of my school years and on into adulthood.