Well - it's back to square one.
I went to see a different RE just because I had a feeling that my first surgery wasn't as successful as my previous RE seemed to think. And - what a suprise - I was right.
I still have a significant amount of the original septum left. So January 15th I'll have surgery #2.
When we started ttc again after Ellie I told myself if it hadn't happened by December - that was really it. I told myslef the same thing after our IVF cycle. That if it didn't happen I wasn't meant to have a biological child. Even though I should be - I'm not ready to give up yet.
T is beyond the point of wanting to keep trying. He was done with the ttc scene before our IVF cycle in September. Now I'm telling him that I'm going to have another surgery because the first one, that he didn't want me to have anyway, didn't work.
What's even worse is I kept procrastinating on making travel plans for our anniversary in December because I kept telling myself that we wouldn't be able to go anyway - I'd be pregnat. Well, I'm not and it's kind of to late to make any plans.
My next deadline is June - my 38th birthday. That really has to be the end. At a certain point I need to concentrate on learning to love what I already have not chase what I don't.