Saturday, July 19, 2008

Where do I begin?

It's been almost 6 months since my daughter died. Wow - that's hard to say. All of the pain and hurt is still so fresh some days.

Driving home today I heard a Johnny Cash song. My first thought was - wow, that would have been nice to have for Ellie's funeral. Than I got really, really sad. I've been crying on and off ever since.

I want my daughter here with me right now - more than anything else in the world.

But she's not.

How in the world is a mother and a father and a sister supposed to be OK with that? I don't think I will ever be OK again. Yes, I'll get by. But that is in no way and indication that I've gotten "over" loosing my child. I'll get by and pretend I am who I used to be.

1 comment:

Sweet Baby Whispers said...

I too feel your pain. My daughter is always excited to go to her baby sisters grave. It's just not something a parent should ever have to experience. I know how hard it is.