Mother's Day

I had a nice Mother's Day (really it was a whole Mother's Day weekend...)

I feel guilty about having a peaceful Mother's Day. Like somehow that makes me cold and heartless because I didn't spend the day in misery, like I miss Ellie less somehow.

Where do all those crazy thought s come from? It's my curse...if there is the possibility of something to worry about I will find it and obsess about it for days.

My Mother's Day started on Friday. With flowers (I wanted to post pictures but no camera today...) from our backyard, yummy stir fry dinner, presents and a cake from A & T.

We got up Sat morning and headed for T's parents for the weekend. We laid around and watched A play outside most of the day. Then we went and got fresh strawberries and I pretty much ate myself SICK!!!! (but they were soooooo good!! :) )

Woke up on Sunday got two more hand made cards from A & T and a bunch of hugs. It was really pretty wonderful.

We went to church with T's parents. (I have and will always have issues going to their church. It was where we held Ellie's funeral.) It was their "Homecoming / Mother's Day/ Memorial Day" Celebration. Didn't really mean much to me until we got there. The entire graveyard was covered in flowers. It was the most beautiful sight. Everyone from the church had brought flowers to be put on the graves. I wish I had had a camera.

The service started off with the choir singing several songs. The last song they sang completely blindsided me. It was "Glad Reunion Day." One of the songs we had chosen to have sung for Ellie's funeral. Completely coincedence, I know, but I completely lost it and had to leave. It was wonderful at the same time. Like she was there to tell me that I was still her mommy and she wanted to be a part of my Mother's Day too. I've included the lyrics...

Glad Reunion Day (I hear it sung by Iris Dement in my head)

There will be a happy meeting in Heaven,
I knowWhen we see the many loved ones we've known here below
Gathered on that blessed hilltop with hearts all aglow
That will be a glad reunion day.

A glad day, a wonderful day,
A glad day, a glorious day
There with all the holy angels and loved ones to stay
That will be a glad reunion day.

When we live a million years in that wonderful place
Basking in the love of Jesus, beholding His face
It will seem but just a moment of praising His grace
That will be a glad reunion day.

A glad day, a wonderful day,
A glad day, a glorious day
There with all the holy angels and loved ones to stay
That will be a glad reunion day.

I'm not a religious person - but more and more I'm trying to understand what exactly I do beleive. Maybe someday I will figure it out. But until then I can find peace and even joy in a simple song that reminds me not only of what I lost - but what I had.

I hope everyone else had a peaceful Mother's Day with out to much pain and sorrow.