Under the Tree - march edition

If you are a baby lost mama and have not read yet about Under the tree you can do so here.

Do you have a special place in your home for your baby/ies? What is it like? Do you have any rituals that you perform in memory of your baby/ies?

We have all of Ellie's things in a basket in our bedroom - it's full to overflowing with all of the cards and letters we got from friends and family after she died. We also have a small box that we got at the hospital. We keep a few precious mementos in there too. It sits on the cabinet in the living room. We don't really have any rituals - but we do have a candle that we light on special days that we want Ellie to be there with us.

If you believe in an afterlife, do you receive signs from your baby/ies? Have you ever felt their pressence? Do you find them in nature? Do they visit you in your dreams?

I had one very vivid dream about Ellie. At the end of that dream I was able to look in her eyes -something I always wished I had been able to do while she was alive. It felt like she was there telling me that it was going to be OK.

Amelia has a very clear view of Ellie in heaven with our dog Zoe. She sees them there together.

Do you have a special poem, song, prayer or quote in memory of your baby/ies?

Music is a big part of our lives, especially for my husband. He made a point of having music playing for Ellie when she was born and the whole time she was alive. We listened to all of the songs from Iris Dement's Lifeline CD the day/night that Ellie was born. Those songs will always be special to me.

I've actually written two different posts about Ellie's music.

The first one was sbout the music we chose for her funeral. Several of the songs were from the Lifeline CD by Iris Dement. The others were sung by a member of the curch. A man with a beautiful voice who we later found out had lost several children himself. He and his wife battled IF all of their lives and never were able to have children.

The second one was about the imix that my husband made for me. He chose songs that represent each stage of our pregnancy and Ellie's life. He started writing down why he chose each song but he never finished. I hope someday he will. Even while I am typing this I can hear the songs in my head and tears are coming to my eyes.