It's been a really crappy couple of weeks (months, ect...)

DH finally got laid off for good. We always knew it was coming - it was just a matter of when. You'd think we would have been prepared for it, and I guess in a way we were. But it's still a huge shock to the system. So we'll be cutting back on lots of things in the near future.

The hardest part at first was that I had to be part of the group that made the decision. Yes - we are the dreaded office romance that everyone warns employees about. But honestly - other than a few minor bumps in the road - it's been a great 8 years of working together. Up until now when thanks to the sucky economy our company is having to make major cutbacks.

So - no second income means my dream of starting an adoption is completely on hold for the forseeable future. Now I really feel like all hope is gone. I have been really depressed and on edge. I want a baby so badly. It's really hard to see so many others moving on and having babies when I know that it just isn't an option for us anymore. Somehow I have to come to terms with my life the way it is and find happiness there. Right now - I just don't really know how to do it. This year has pushed me so far off my center I'm not sure I'll ever be able to come back.