A few more questions

I need more help – (as always!)

 

Little man has a few good nights here and there where he will sleep through the night.  But mostly he wakes up 2 – 3 times a night to eat.  Sometimes I can just rub his back and he will go back to sleep – but usually he won’t go back to sleep until he’s had his “snack”.

 

I don’t mind doing it – but am I doing something wrong by letting him eat?  Should I just try to get him to go back to sleep so he will learn to sleep through the night?

While looking for a cute winter hat to knit for YaYa I came across the perfect pattern..

TC's Cozy Hat from Susan Anderson

And guess what else - the chair she's sitting in is covered in fabric I designed!!! How cool is that...

It always takes me by suprise to see things I did in real life.

Now I have to make the hat.

The Red Thread - Ann Hood

I just finished another fabulous book! This one is called The Red Thread by Ann Hood.

It is about a group of families getting ready to adopt babies from China. We didn't adopt from China but there were just so many of the same emotions in the course of our process that reading this brought it all back.

If Yaya wasn't asleep right now I'd sit her down and retell every detail of our trip to pick her up.

The buying and packing and list making... and then that moment when you see your beautiful child for the first time...

And back up even further to the first time we saw her picture... It was February 12th. I was sitting at my desk and there she was - 8 days old wearing a funny little green sweater peacefully sleeping... Even now, it still brings tears to my eyes.

I am so happy that we get to be her parents.

Sleepy Boy

Now that Little Man is completely mobile we started using a baby gate in the door of his room to keep him safe and give him room to roam…Here’s what happened this morning after about an hour playing by himself.

He was playing according to the way the late afternoon sunlight came smiling across the barroom floor… 

 

borrowed from Michelle Shocked

nostalgia

Does it ever make you sad that your life didn’t turn out quite like you expected it to?  I just feel sad lately.  There is no real particular reason – just sad for what didn’t happen.  This is not the same as saying that I’m unhappy with what did happen – because I’m not. 

 

I guess all of this was triggered by something I stumbled across this morning.  It was an old abandoned blog written by someone who used to be a huge part of my life – my ex-husband.  We split up 9 years ago.  I haven’t spoken to him since then – not once.  It was my choice to leave – so I guess it is my penance to wonder how he is.  He was my best friend from 8^th grade on.  We’ve both moved on to new careers, new spouses and children.  I know that there is no going back – but I would like him to know that I hope he is happy and that I’m very sorry for everything.  He was a once in a lifetime friend and didn’t deserve to be hurt by my selfishness.

 

I could make excuses – but really there aren’t any.  I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain.  I wanted out.  He didn’t.

 

I miss being able to remember that part of my life with someone who was there.

 

 

 

 

The Postmistress

Wow - what a book!

I picked it up as an after thought when we were walking out of the library on Friday afternoon. An author of one of my all time favorite books had written a little blurb for the back of this book. It drew me in.

I won't bore you with a blow by blow of the story and its' details.

Just know that it is simply beautiful. A story that draws you in and keeps you there in an alternate world. Words on a page that bring to life a story. It was a joy to read.

I love to read and I always have. I will read just about anything that comes my way. For me it is a rare treasure to come across a book that is so completely engaging.

Somehow the sorrow of this book is what touched me the most. It's as if by reading this it makes it OK for me to hold onto that part of my heart that still aches. That it is OK to still be haunted by the now distant memory of a tiny baby girl in my arms.