It's been a while...

Yes - it's been a while...

I've just returned from the depths of winter in WI (actually - they had record high temps while I was there but it was still to cold for me anymore). I try not to go back during the winter months. I've been spoiled by my many years of wonderfully mild winters.

My Mom had hip replacement surgery on Feb. 2nd. The three of us went up there to help out while she was recovering. She's doing great - but it's been a long hard couple of weeks to get there for her. Really it's been a very, very hard year for her. She has had three surgeries in the last 12 months. I just want everyone to know how proud I am of her. She has always been my ispiration.

GO MOM!!!

Bye Bye Septum

I had my second surgery yesterday. Everything went smoothly and even happened a little ahead of schedule. I was out of surgery by 12:30 and home by 2:30.

And as of right now - the pain is no worse than a really crampy period. I think I actually felt worse after the IVF retreival. After my first surgery to remove the septum last April I was out of it for a week and then had a scary bleeding inccident (Let's hope that doesn't happen again...).

Hopefully this means that the septum is completely gone. I have thirty days of Estrogen pills and then we can take another look to see if it really is gone.

At this point I have a hard time thinking that it really will be - my body seems to be about as uncooperative as they came - and I'm certainly not getting any younger in the process.

Thank you to Carly and Sam Dudley from the 'Names In The Sand' blog for the beautiful birthday picture for Ellie.

http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2009/01/eleanor-jesi-morrison.html

Ellie's Songs

These are the songs we chose for Ellie's funeral.

Blessed Assurance
I Don't Want To Get Adjusted (To This World)
Glad Reunion Day
I'll Fly Away
Further Along

For the short time she was alive we listened to Lifeline by Iris Dement. Most of the songs for the funeral were chosen from that album. If you have never heard Iris Dement sing you should look her up on iTunes. Her voice is hauntingly beautiful. I haven't listened to any of this music in a year until this past weekend. As Truett said - "It's time to free this music"

Happy Birthday Ellie

At 6:52pm on January 24th, 2008 Eleanor Jesi Morrison came into this world.

At 9:00pm she left it.

Happy Birthday sweet angel.

We all love you deeply and wish you could be here with us. You will live in our hearts forever.

a pair of socks

Right now the only connection I have left to being pregnant is a pair of socks. It's silly but I wore them today just because they were the last thing I was still wearing while Ellie was alive. I pulled them out to wear a few months ago but I couldn't wear them then. Today they are a comfort. There is nothing special about these socks - other than they happened to be on my feet January 22, 2008.

On January 22nd, 2008 I was filled with hope and happiness. We had had a successful amnioinfusion. And because our lives had yet to be touched by tragedy T & I thought that we could go home and celebrate.

No such luck...

I was admitted to L&D because my BP had skyrocketed and finally everyone knew the cause of the anhydramnios and IUGR.... PREECLAMPSIA...

At this point we still had high hopes that Ellie would survive.

The following 48 hours would change us forever.